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Inc. 5000 Conference Marshall Goldsmith

The #1 Joy Killer and How to Avoid It

Inc. 5000 Conference Marshall Goldsmith, Marshall Goldsmith print print version

Dear Followers: I'm excited that my new book Triggers is finally published! Order it now at Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com! Life Is Good. -- Marshall
If you don't ask yourself the tough personal questions, you'll never change. If you do, you will. Learn what those questions are and how to ask them in just 2 minutes a day!

by Marshall Goldsmith

In my travels, I run across thousands of people all over the world who aren’t happy. In fact, some of them are downright miserable. It’s hard to be an engaged, productive person at work if you’re not happy. And, it can be even harder at home.

So, what is the #1 joy killer today? What is killing our happiness and engagement on such a wide-scale? It’s that series of little things that we put on our plates, that pile up over time, compounding to the point of being way too much for any one person to handle.

The #1 happiness killer today is saying yes too much when you should really be saying no. Have you ever heard the old saying, “If you want something done, ask a busy person.”? It makes sense. It’s obvious they are able to get things done. But there is a fine line between taking on a lot and taking on too much.

People in corporate situations often fall into this over-commitment trap. It’s easy to see why. If you like what you do and you’re good at it, it shows. Everyone wants you to be at their meeting; they seek out your opinion; they ask you to run a project for them. Busy people find no shortage of opportunities. And, this happens at all levels. It’s how junior employees advance more rapidly than some of their cohorts. Their ambition and enthusiasm is contagious. Their bosses pile on the work—the employees don’t cry uncle (until it’s too late). And that’s when their work quality deteriorates and they begin to falter. It’s a predictable and vicious circle.

Self-employed people really fall for this joy killer. That’s because without the cushion of a steady paycheck, every opportunity could be their last. So, they take on everything even though it’s impossible to do it all. I do this. As a speaker, I show up for the day, share my knowledge, and get paid for my time. It’s a straightforward pay-for-work opportunity. If I show up I get paid. If I don’t, I don’t get paid. I look at un-booked periods as valuable time during which I can catch up on my reading and writing, or simply relax with my family.

Then someone will want to hire me for the day. I’ll say no at first, because I’ve planned to do these important things. But often the client will persist and I soon find myself saying yes to a gig a few months away, rationalizing that who knows what the economy or my future bookings will look like, I’d better take what comes. Really though, I might be better served to say no and write my next book! I’m lucky to have this problem. And, I know that if I say yes too many times when I should be saying no, the feeling will compound to dangerous levels and will turn into burnout.

That’s the lesson of the #1 Joy Killer. For those of us who tend to over-commit, we have to watch out. Over-commitment is liable to make our spirit sag on the inside and soon will become obvious on the outside to everyone else. Our great job will turn rote, our execution sloppy and apathetic. It will make us appear under-committed and this is rarely appreciated by our customers or colleagues.

Practically everyone feels over-committed on occasion. It’s a hard thing to admit for lots of reasons. Maybe we don’t want to look like we can’t handle the challenge. Maybe we want the validation of being told we’re doing a good job. Maybe we think that taking on too much is no excuse for dropping the ball.

The key is before you reply with another enthusiastic “yes” to that request, think of the long-term impact it will have on you. Is it right for you in the long-term? Are you just saying what will make others happy in the short-term? And, is what you are about to commit to going to increase the long-term happiness and meaning that you experience in life? Or not? The answers will help you avoid the #1 Joy Killer – over-commitment.

In November 2015 Dr. Marshall Goldsmith was recognized as the #1 Leadership Thinker in the World and the top 5 Management Thinker at the Thinkers50 Award Ceremony in London. He was also selected as the #1 Executive Coach in the World by GlobalGurus.org, and one of the 10 Most Influential Management Thinkers in the World by Thinkers50 in both 2011 and 2013. In 2011 he was chosen as the World's Most Influential Leadership Thinker. Marshall was the highest rated executive coach on the Thinkers50 List in both 2011 and 2013. What Got You Here Won't Get You There was listed as a top ten business bestseller for 2013 by INC Magazine / 800 CEO Read (for the seventh consecutive year). Marshall's exciting new research on engagement is published in his newest book Triggers (Crown, 2015).

Please order Triggers at Amazon or Barnes & Noble!

 

Triggers by Marshall Goldsmith

 

 

 


What Got You Here Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith


What Got You Here Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith

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Soundview Executive Book Summaries' subscribers select What Got You Here Won't Get You There as the Harold Longman Award best business book of the year for 2007.

 

 

   

 

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